Antique Victorian ring for sale; disgruntled Victorian ghost comes gratis

Antique Victorian ring, found in the attic. Sterling silver with an amethyst setting. Ideal for anyone who won’t mind occasionally hearing a mysterious voice from the beyond asking how you got the ring Emily bestowed upon him, him you understand, as a token of her deepest affections. Also perfect for those not bothered by a 3am apparition in a top hat and coat demanding a duel at sunrise to settle this question of dear Emily’s favors.

Buyer should not mind intermittent reminders that the disembodied and his beloved were willing to live independently, poor but happy on a mere £150 a year, but surely it’s fine that you still use your parents’ Netflix account. Ring would also make an ideal engagement ring for a fiancée who won’t mind constantly hearing that she’s a lovely girl, to be sure, but she’s no Emily, and certainly not when she wears her hair like that. Also makes a charming accessory for any romantic dinner where you and said fiancée will receive endless commentary on whether this place actually expects you to use the same type of fork for both the salad and the fish, and what a nice little establishment it is that you’ve picked here, by the way. Really.

Ring is a classic work, solidly made and fairly indestructible, even when hurled at high velocity by a (former) fiancée on her way out of the restaurant.

Asking $50 OBO trades accepted if someone would just come take it I’d be so grateful.

Image Source / CC0 Nana Louise Nielsen

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Estate Sale for a Haunted House

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Join us this Friday and Saturday, 10am-5pm, for a magnificent sale of fine-quality, gently-haunted furnishings. All pieces original to the home. Contents available for purchase include:

  • Banded mahogany dining table with 8 chairs, fully levitating
  • Elegant curio cabinet with spring-loaded glass doors for easy release of possessed artifacts (also included)
  • Carved oak armoire newly refurbished with a one-way portal to the demon realm
  • Pair of gold frame mirrors, easy to clean with Windex and a little burnt sage
  • Cast-iron queen bed, in good condition and currently haunted by fewer than five murdered brides
  • Drop-leaf wooden center table with claw feet that will need only bimonthly trimming
  • Kingston piano (by The Rudolph Wurlitzer Company) with no need for tuning; plays only one song, whether or not anyone is present.

Sale ends promptly at sunset! Please be prepared to remove all your items before dark.

Image Source / CC0

10 Popular Paint Colors for Haunted Houses

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Surely-there’s-a-perfectly-mundane-reason-for-the-cheap-rent rose

Footsteps-in-the-corridor carnelian

Our-neighbors-tell-the-most-charming-stories-about-this-place periwinkle

Was-that-the-wind wisteria

Whispers-in-the-abandoned-hallway heather

Indefinably-menacing-domestic-staff serge

Someone-should-go-check-out-that-noise-in-the-attic aubergine

Why-is-the-nursery-door-open ochre

Whose-hand-was-I-holding heliotrope

I-don’t-think-we’re-getting-the-deposit-back beige

Image Source / Sean MacEntee, CC