Is There A Poltergeist In My House Or Do I Just Have A Cat?

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It’s 3AM. I wake in the darkness. All the cabinet doors are open.

***

Halfway through “Dateline”, a ceramic shepherdess in a pink flowered bonnet flies off the mantle.

***

From the darkest corner of the closet, a purgatory for old purses and the remnants of last year’s casualwear, a nauseating smell suddenly emanates.

***

The car keys are placed on the side table. Then gone. Hours later, they are found underneath the couch.

***

I am walking down a dark hallway. An unseen object barrels against my shins. I experience a brief moment of levitation.

***

While dining on homemade tuna casserole, I pause at a faint sound of wailing. There is a sensation of tiny needles pricking my thigh.

***

I wake at night to the rasp of a wordless incantation, a hacking staccato, the dreaded sound of something being called up from the depths to burst into our mortal realm. I shudder at the realization I must clean it up tomorrow.

Image Source / CC

Awwwfully Gothic Shelter Pets: The Black Cat

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Image Source / Public Domain

Meet Winky! He’s a big boy with a friendly heart who’ll trot around after you everywhere, like judgment. We love how he’s always winking at you — almost like you two share a secret! Winky’s a handsome black kitty with a single white chest patch that vaguely resembles a tuxedo. Or maybe a noose. Well, at least you’ll know he’s always dressed appropriately!

Winky tends to get really attached to people, like public censure. You may find him sitting under your chair, jumping into your lap or running between your legs while you’re walking. Try as you might, you just can’t get away from him! At night you may find him sleeping on your chest like the weight of your subconscious. Or you may wake suddenly in the darkness, to face the incarnate nightmare that you have no power to shake off — oops, that’s his butt! He’s got so many ways of getting your attention.

Winky’s also quite vocal, especially around dinnertime or in front of the cops. It’s almost like you can hear him saying “Hey guys, where’s my food?” or “The body’s over here!” Such a character!

Winky intends to be a persistent, unshakable, lifelong companion. However, he also likes his down time for rest and reflection. For this reason, Winky needs to be adopted into a quiet home with one resident and a guilty conscience.