Is There A Poltergeist In My House Or Do I Just Have A Cat?

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It’s 3AM. I wake in the darkness. All the cabinet doors are open.

***

Halfway through “Dateline”, a ceramic shepherdess in a pink flowered bonnet flies off the mantle.

***

From the darkest corner of the closet, a purgatory for old purses and the remnants of last year’s casualwear, a nauseating smell suddenly emanates.

***

The car keys are placed on the side table. Then gone. Hours later, they are found underneath the couch.

***

I am walking down a dark hallway. An unseen object barrels against my shins. I experience a brief moment of levitation.

***

While dining on homemade tuna casserole, I pause at a faint sound of wailing. There is a sensation of tiny needles pricking my thigh.

***

I wake at night to the rasp of a wordless incantation, a hacking staccato, the dreaded sound of something being called up from the depths to burst into our mortal realm. I shudder at the realization I must clean it up tomorrow.

Image Source / CC

10 Popular Paint Colors for Haunted Houses

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Surely-there’s-a-perfectly-mundane-reason-for-the-cheap-rent rose

Footsteps-in-the-corridor carnelian

Our-neighbors-tell-the-most-charming-stories-about-this-place periwinkle

Was-that-the-wind wisteria

Whispers-in-the-abandoned-hallway heather

Indefinably-menacing-domestic-staff serge

Someone-should-go-check-out-that-noise-in-the-attic aubergine

Why-is-the-nursery-door-open ochre

Whose-hand-was-I-holding heliotrope

I-don’t-think-we’re-getting-the-deposit-back beige

Image Source / Sean MacEntee, CC